If tomorrow never comes

IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES   

I was nineteen when I was given my first paycheck. It has been 5 years that this 5 feet tall girl was given a bundle of 50 note of Rs. 500. It still makes me smile, whenever I remember giving almost half of my paycheck to my mother, taking my younger brother for a pizza treat, a new jacket for my elder sister’s birthday and a bath towel in Miniso surprisingly cost Rs. 1200 which is still a big mystery for me. My dream of being an independent girl did come true, but with that, I also learned one of the biggest life lessons which still makes my heartache whenever I remember it.

Before I could downright my teenage days, I was already employed as a paid Registered Nurse. My life was revolving around from home to work and work to home. Life of a nurse is very capricious. From morning shift, day shift and twice a week was 12 hours long night shift. My looks varied from a Royal princess to a street beggar, depending upon my shift and patient flow.

Thrill in life was a joy for me, and being productive was fuel to my engine. I was very busy with my life and was happy. But with that, it was very difficult for me to spend quality time with my family and a few close friends. I didn’t have enough time to spend with them nor I could share or listen to how their days went. 

And that reminds me of that unit of time when life would never be the same. A few years back I recollect It was 11 pm and I was talking to my best friend. For so many days she had been whining about her on and off the relationship. “ I am going to break up with him for sure, I don’t think I want to see his face any more, I fought with him again” were her everyday sentences whenever we talked. I used to listen to her but that specific day things went out of line, and I said, “I am sick and tired of your relationship problems, and your nagging. For a change can we not talk about you guys. I have a long shift tomorrow, and I am very exhausted so I shall speak to tomorrow” and with that, I turned my internet off and went to sleep.

Next day as I woke up at 10:30 am, and was about to start my day suddenly I saw there were 150 miss calls and 30 unread text messages. I didn’t panic and called back my friend who has been trying to reach me for the whole time. Her voice was breaking as if she had been crying for a long time. I asked her what’s wrong and I could feel the range of emotions in her voice. After a minute she replied, “ Smrity’s brother called he said that she is no more”. I took a few seconds of pause and said,” You have been pranked again Prakriti, I just had a conversation with her yesterday. I am pretty sure they are lying haha”. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept that she is gone. Maybe I was in the stage of denial. I accepted that she was no more once her brother called and said that SHE WAS NO MORE.

It turns out that I am the unluckiest person in the whole world. People normally remember good moments when they lose their loved ones, and here I was remembering how rude I was to her before she died. I still wish I could tell her how much she meant to me, and how horrible I am as a person. I still have a picture of her on my wall, and every year on her birthday I do apologise to her for being so rude. It was like carrying out a PCR test for diagnosing Corona only after the person is dead. 

We are at this stage of our life where we have to be outstanding, productive, and in the lead of everyone. But with this, we incline to forget a small yet important part of our existence. Quality of time with family and friends. Remembering good old days, laughing at our most embarrassing moments, and most importantly telling I LOVE YOU to your nearby and ambient ones. 

Life is brief, today we are spirited, and tomorrow we might not 

Time might be going well for you today, it may get the lowest hereafter

Today we have wealth, honour in the association, tomorrow it may not

Survive

So why to take ego, jealousy, or negativity towards for each one.

WHY?

After her loss, I never take anything or anyone for granted. I attend to listen to people more than ever. Even if I can’t avail anyone at least I can concentrate on their talk. I call or text my best friends whenever I feel like I should, and I make sure that I tell them that they mean a lot to me. 

That’s why it is very indispensable that we reach out to people we love and care about. If you aren’t good with expressing, make them aware that you care because what would happen “IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES”